Phobia
by Curlygal
Summary: Grissom gets a new bug to study. Nick scares Sara with it and Grissom gets all protective.


"Hi Guys" said Sara as she strode into the room. She noticed the two men huddled around Grissom's desk, heads together and staring intently at something on the table "so this is where you're hiding". On hearing her come in Nick broke the symmetry, shifting round in his seat to look at her.  
  
This is just what Sara wanted right now, a diversion. She'd pulled a double shift to process evidence on a particularly brutal rape and murder case. There was a suspect being held, an ex boyfriend. Sara was having difficulty linking his DNA to anything they'd recovered at the crime scene, it was frustrating to say the least. She was dead on her feet but characteristically she wasn't prepared to give up now. She'd stay until she'd exhausted all avenues. About fifteen minutes ago Sara had wandered into the break room, had a three cup caffeine fix and had decided to track Nick down. He was working another case but Sara figured that by seeing what he was doing might clear her mind and give her some inspiration. And here he was.  
  
"Hi Sara" he said, a broad mischievous smile appearing on his lips "come and have a look at this, you're going to love it" while shooting Grissom a suruptious wink. As she approached, Nick saw the dark circles under her eyes,  
  
"You look tired" he said with concern. Sara shot him a cautionary look and pursed her lips in a silent "sshhh!", Grissom had spoken to her in the past about her sleeping habits and she could do without another lecture.  
  
A curious Sara sauntered up to the table, unsure of what to expect. Standing behind Nick she glanced over his tidy dark hair and onto the table. Her confused eyes registered a segmented, scuttling movement of a large, colourful, twisting object. It only took an instant for her brain to register what it was. With total revulsion, Sara jumped back slightly, a shiver running down her body and causing the fine dark hairs on her arms to stand to attention. Her arms came across her body at the waist in a primitive compulsion to protect herself.  
  
"Jesus Grissom" , she shuddered "that bug is truly disgusting, even by your standards".  
  
"Scolopendara heros" announced Grissom, giving his 2 CSI's the benefit of the giant centipede's Latin name. He continued,  
  
"A friend sent it to me from Arizona, he found it on a photography trip to the Sonoran desert".  
  
Grissom peered intently through his glasses gently rotating the glass container to better study the creature. It was exploring every square inch of its new enclosure with interest. With a zigzagging motion, its dark body and contrasting yellow legs worked in perfect unison, its antennae testing the space around it enthusiastically.  
  
"I've been looking for a specimen for a while" Grissom continued, "you can actually buy them off the internet"  
  
"yeh right", Sara said sarcastically, more to herself than the group, "from bugs.com"  
  
"Oh, so you've seen it then", replied Grissom matter of factly, for the first time looking at her, over his glasses. Sara's forehead creased quizzically, she wasn't sure if he was serious or not.  
  
Nick meanwhile had hunkered down by the container, one finger tracing the glass in an attempt to get the centipede's attention. How can he even get that close! Sara thought as the insect acknowledged the fingers movement by butting the glass aggressively. She shivered.  
  
"Used to get these critters back home a lot" Nick said "What ya going to feed it on Grissom?" he asked looking up at the older man.  
  
"crickets and moths" Grissom replied, removing his glasses and swinging them around by one of the arms, absentmindedly "although I believe bigger ones than this occasionally eat small rodents" Bigger than this! Sara thought, Jesus! Grissom's centipede was at least 10 inches long as it was. She felt her stomach contracting into a tight cold little ball when she thought about the possibility of its juicy yellow legs touching her skin. She hoped there wasn't any in Nevada.  
  
Grissom replaced his glasses and bent down, his head joining Nick's to look through the glass container at his newly acquired captive. Obviously enthralled, Grissom began to explain,  
  
"Their prey is captured and stunned with its poison claws, you see the two fangs just there..." pointing to the insect's head "the poison glands are within the fangs and drain into the prey when its bitten" He continued, "this allows the centipede to then begin to feed on its prey without resistance and..."  
  
"Ok, ok, enough" interrupted Sara, a warning hand coming up in an attempt to halt the description further, "that's way too much information for a vegetarian"  
  
Whatever Grissom's reply would of been was cut off by his phone suddenly beginning to ring. He turned to look at it in dismay and then reluctantly got up to answer it.  
  
"Grissom!" said Sara, hearing the slight panic in her voice and instantly trying to disguise it, a disturbing image of the escaping centipede flooding her mind. "you are going to put the lid on that jar, aren't you?".  
  
"they can't negotiate smooth vertical surfaces like glass" Grissom said wafting past her on the way to the phone," so you're quite safe Sara," taking a long look at her as if to emphasise this. Damn, he'd gotten on to that nervousness in her voice.  
  
"Am I?" Sara said, not particularly reassured.  
  
"plus", he continued over his shoulder "its got to breathe, just like us"  
  
Grissom reached the phone and placed the handset to his ear. "Grissom," he said and instantly wished he'd let it ring off when he realised it was Sheriff Atwater. His eyes went heavenward as the Sheriff started asking him about some committee matters that had nothing, as far as Grissom was concerned, to do with him. He was going to be here for a while.  
  
Meanwhile, Nick was still huddled over the centipede, smirking at Grissom who was now sat at his desk with his head in his free hand suffering the Major's verbal attack. Nick looked around to find Sara who was still at a safe distance from the centipede standing and watching with folded arms.  
  
"look at our fearless CSI over there!" Nick laughed "What is it with you and bugs Sara?"  
  
Sara gave him her sourest look and remarked to herself how easily grown educated men could seem to revert back to their juvenile state so easily. Nick knew, as did all the team, about Sara's intense dislike of all things bug-like. She noted the boyish evil little twinkle in Nicks eye, this was his opportunity to torture her.  
  
OK, it did bother her that an insect that large was in the same room as her, jar or no jar. Plenty of people are scared of bugs, or snakes or whatever, Sara thought to herself. She could go to a crime scene, see dismembered bodies, go to autopsies and take it in her stride, no problem. Not so much as a queasy stomach, not once. It was no use though, justify it whichever way the thought of the insect was making her skin crawl. Sara could feel her pulse starting to pick up speed, and felt the slight clamminess of her hands.  
  
Nick, on the other hand, seemed to be in his element. He picked up the jar and brought it to his face, manipulating it in his hands to get a better look at the centipede's belly. When he noticed how Sara shuddered when he did this Nick laughed and began to come towards her with it.  
  
"Oh, sorry Sara, did you want a closer look too, here you go" shoving the insect in her general direction.  
  
She stiffened, moving the container around seemed to be annoying the centipede causing it to twist and buck severely. Sara felt like her skin was trying to get inside her body.  
  
"Knock it off Nick" she said, noticing the harshness in her voice from the mounting fear brewing from the pit of her stomach. She took a few more cautionary steps backwards.  
  
Sara loathed herself at this moment for feeling so frightened, why couldn't she get a hold on herself? She looked quickly around. Sara realised, with some dread, that she'd backed herself literally into a corner in her attempt to get away from Nick. Just at this moment she was standing in a corner of Grissom's office, his desk, and Grissom himself standing off to her right side. He'd evidently escaped from the Sheriff.  
  
"Grissom" she hissed, quick eyes darting between him and Nick.  
  
A small smile played around Grissom's mouth, his eyes bright and one eyebrow cocked. Sara realised from his expression that he was quite savouring seeing her squirm like this. His eyes scanned her face, the scientists eye noting the rapid shallow breathing from her slightly parted lips, the flush of crimson on her cheekbones, her eyes wide as she looked with fascinated horror to observe the insect through the glass. It was amazing to Grissom that people could be so horrified at creatures that he considered so interesting.  
  
A sudden movement from Nick caused Sara's head to snap back towards him.  
  
"C'mon Sar' Nick laughed, saying in baby talk "you're not scared of an ickle bug are ya".  
  
Sara physically recoiled as he waved the centipede's tank, inching it nearer and nearer to her. Sara felt a sense of panic nibbling away at her control. Her mind screamed at her to run, to get away - the powerful fight or flight of adrenaline pumping through her body. Nick made a small lunge towards her and any remaining resolve ebbed away.  
  
Sara jumped, one desperate hand suddenly flying up to grasp a fistful of Grissom's jacket. She could feel her short nails digging painfully into her palm even through its fabric. The contact startled Grissom, his eyes widening as he glanced first at his crumpled jacket in Sara's now trembling grasp and then narrowing with concern to look at her.  
  
"Sara?", he said quizzically, bobbing his head down in an attempt to see her now downcast face, the dark hair falling forward across her eyes. Grissom's hand came up in a warning gesture to Nick which he hoped the younger man would understand as "STOP". Nick looked shocked, the smile sliding from his face as he stared at Sara and Grissom. The jar containing the centipede suddenly felt heavy and he set it down very gently on the desk.  
  
With an increasing feeling of unreality, Sara found herself intently studying her grasping fist as if it didn't really belong to her. She stared at the contrast between the blue fabric of Grissom's jacket against her whitening knuckles. Everything else in the room seemed distant to her at this moment, her rushing blood deafening her to sounds and making her feel weak and dizzy.  
  
"Sara!" the urgency in Grissom's voice rang out and almost seemed to wake Sara from a dream. She looked at him with surprise, her eyes wide as if it were the first time she'd seen him, almost as though she hadn't been aware of him there, although they were only inches apart. Grissom's hand quickly caught one cheek to steady Sara's face scanning it, his eyes awash with concern.  
  
Sara's eyes darted around and she took a quick ragged breath, as if to say something through her trembling lips. Grissom's palm seemed so strong and warm against her cheek and she couldn't help but to lean into it. Her need for something tangible to grab on to and hide in suddenly overwhelmed her. Sara shut her eyes, took a step forward and seemed in tumble into him.  
  
Grissom wasn't sure whether it was the surprise of suddenly finding Sara against him or the urgency with which she'd projected herself, that caused him to step back and fight to regain his balance. His arms came up, his hands lightly on her shoulders. At this point, Grissom almost expected her to pull away from him, a huge smile appearing on her face and her saying something like "Ha...Gotcha!!" A joke maybe, pretending she was scared. Instead, she remained – her forehead buried in his shoulder, her arms now folded into his chest, both hands lightly grabbing onto his jacket. Grissom felt her shuddering against him, her body heaving quickly, fighting to regain normal breath.  
  
Sara felt the relief like a wave as soon as her body came into contact with Grissom's warm solid mass and she felt his hands on her. She felt the outline of his upper body under her fingers, a darkness enveloping her eyes as she squeezed them shut against his shoulder, breathing in his musky scent. She was aware of muffled noises in the room but her hearing was overwhelmed by the blood rushing in her ears and her own rapid breathing, warming her face.  
  
"Sara?" Grissom said very quietly. Was she crying? Grissom didn't think so but couldn't really tell. He went to pull her away from him slightly, only to study her face which at the moment was out of his view. Sara clutched at his jacket desperately, her body tightening against him. Grissom felt a pang of tenderness strike him as he realised that at this moment she wanted him to protect her, surrendering herself into his arms in the hope that he'd rescue her from these bug terrors. Grissom's need to comfort Sara was overwhelming and its intensity surprised him a little. He supposed that he had avoided it in the past. There had been times, like in the Pam Adler case when she had come to him looking for answers, he supposed. She had sat in his office, feet away, sobbing - revealing a vulnerability of emotion she didn't readily display to most. Today though, she'd aced him and there was no way of avoiding it this time. God, she'd looked and now felt so vulnerable that something in Grissom melted. His arms came around her, squeezing her slender form gently into him, one of his hands finding the back of her head, his fingers breaking through the softness of her hair.  
  
"Its okay, sshhh" Grissom murmured to her gently, squeezing Sara tighter into him for an instant. Suddenly, Grissom wished that Nick wasn't still in the room with them. He was sure that Sara wouldn't want anyone to see her like this and he felt a little self conscious at this display of tenderness on his part.  
  
Being this close to Grissom, even though Sara had often imagined with relish how it would feel was, in reality, utterly intoxicating. His smell, the feeling of his arms encasing her, she wanted to drink it all in and somehow capture every detail in her memory. Even in her current confused state, the significance of what she was experiencing and the sensations it caused within her wasn't lost on Sara. She wanted to burst into tears, button herself up inside his jacket and never come out, to keep on feeling the delicious ache of being so close to the man she had desired for so long.  
  
It was Nick that broke the silence.  
  
"Sara" signed Nick, tentatively touching her arm, "I am so sorry"  
  
Sara reluctantly pulled away from Grissom's loosening grip to face Nick. Nick's eyes were full of concern creasing the lines on his forehead.  
  
"...I had no idea, I'm so sorry, I must of gotten carried away" grasping Sara's hand almost begging to be forgiven. Now Sara was thinking with more clarity, she found the puppy dog look on Nick's face both sweet and funny. He almost looked as if he was expecting her to kick his ass around Grissom's office any minute.  
  
"Nick" Sara said "Its ok, really. I think I got a bit carried away myself" Sara's mouth started to break into a slight smile and Nick mirrored hers, a grin of relief spreading over his face.  
  
"Nick", Grissom suddenly interrupted "could you give us a minute?"  
  
The recent events suddenly focused uncomfortably back into Sara's mind. At light speed she began replaying what had happened, beginning to feel a little embarrassed at the reality of her actions and how exposed she now felt. As Nick left the room Sara's her eyes were everywhere apart from on Grissom.  
  
Grissom's gaze was unrelenting and Sara found it hard to return it. His eyes seemed to burn right down to her toes, like an anaesthetic taking you under there was no escape. He seemed to be able to do this to her, to make her feel very vulnerable, like a little girl. This was how she felt right now, cringing at her behaviour and the fact that she'd just thrown herself into her supervisors arms for no more good reason than being chased by a harmless (if not large) centipede. The recollection snapped her eyes shut and caused her cheeks to flush hot.  
  
"Do you want to talk about what just happened?" Grissom said, after what seemed like an eternity to Sara.  
  
She was going to pass this all off as best she could and try and forget it.  
  
"Look, Grissom" Sara said, "Its really no big deal, I just don't like bugs, everyone knows that".  
  
Again, Grissom's eyes boring into her "Sara, I felt how scared you were". Sara shut her eyes and took a long breath. Yes, he had. She'd just come undone in his arms and no amount of justification was going to change that fact. She didn't know what to reply so she stayed silent.  
  
"We're all scared of something" said Grissom "its not a sign of weakness Sara, its just what makes us individuals".  
  
Sara supposed that she owed Grissom some kind of explanation, although she was unsure herself as to why her reaction had been so severe. Maybe she was over-tired.  
  
"I really don't know why I reacted like that" Sara said truthfully "I don't like bugs, you know that, but..." she stumbled.  
  
"Go on" said Grissom encouragingly.  
  
"I'm just over-tired I think. What with this case I'm working on, having to pull a double shift..."  
  
"Sara, we've talked about this already" said Grissom with more concern in his voice than annoyance. "functioning on a diet of caffeine and sleep deprivation isn't going to help you focus on the case". No wonder Sara was so edgy, Grissom thought. She'd been like a hand grenade waiting to go off and the centipede had pulled out the pin.  
  
Grissom made a quick decision. "you go home" he said, halting her protests with a cautionary finger "and I will look over the evidence in your case". She saw Sara's face break into a grin and felt a little more reassured.  
  
"OK, Thanks" she said and turned around making her way to the door. Just before her foot hit the floor of the corridor Sara looked over her shoulder for a final glance at Grissom before she left. To her surprise, instead of his face being down studying something, he was staring straight at her, watching her go. Both Sara and Grissom quickly looked away, embarrassed that the other had caught the look - something had changed. 


End file.
